The Days Between Emptiness and Hope

Sometimes change is like being notified that your favorite parts of life are being discontinued. Change has brought me the best of things via the hardest roads and every time it’s a challenge to believe that what lies on the other side of the loss and discomfort is goodness.Read More »

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Notes from an Ending

In four days I will graduate from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill,
and this beautiful season will be over. I have wanted to write of the thoughts, lessons, and observations from these past weeks, but I rarely get around to doing so here.
Even so, I still write every day. And so today I decided, that for those of you I know will want to hear, I will share in a way I normally don’t. What follows is a series of excepts from my journal over the past few weeks—little pieces of my joy and indecision and taking in of life.
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Julian

Early Friday mornings and it smells of rain—a delight in a week of 100 degree weather and strict water rations. I’m up early for emergency coffee runs to WinCo with the windows down and the rain splashing in on my leg, because the roommates got home last night and that means together and I’ve lived enough of this rhythm-seeking, mid-twenties life to know that together isn’t permanent or guaranteed.   Read More »

He Fulfills His Purposes

I know I’m not alone in the sea of people whose lives are changing, whose futures are uncertain, and who are puzzling again with questions about who they are, where they’re going, and whether it’s worth the road it takes to get there. I know I am not alone among those who need purpose, excitement, and truth to speak. Because life cycles and we change and books end and do we really have to do all of this again?   Read More »

Words that Leave the Room

As some of you will know, and some of you won’t, I am spending my Spring Break in New York city where I am attending and presenting at the United Nations Commission on the Status of Women. I am here where dignitaries, ambassadors and activists alike gather to discuss progress made on the Millennium Development Goals and what we want the world to look like in the Post 2015 Agenda.   Read More »

Presenting Me

Last week could be categorized in the top five most stressful weeks of my life—the kind with uncharacteristic mishaps and cruel humor. All the usual margins I plan my life with ran out and one small accident caused every responsibility and demand on my life to come crashing one into the other. Wednesday evening I was scheduled to give my first presentation for a research fellowship I was recently awarded.  Read More »

Riding the Wrong Train

Towards the end of my first semester here at Carolina, I sat with a friend in a favorite Saturday morning breakfast spot and had to make a confession. Over buttermilk pancakes and a rare, assignment-free table, I told her that I wasn’t perhaps the person she thought I was. She had come to know me here in this new world of red bricks and Carolina Blue and I was afraid the person she had come to know might not be the most accurate representation of myself.   Read More »

As Life Changes

I like plans. I think a successful life is in no small part due to an ability to plan it well. However, a good deal of painful experience has also led me to be convinced that life’s happiness is equally dependent upon how we respond when our plans get changed. I am hopelessly idealistic and once a picture is in my head, it’s hard to let it be painted differently. But such idealism has made me no stranger to disappointment.   Read More »

Lessons in Loss and Good Things

Life here as I see it, as I leave it, is beautiful, but it has come to me broken and has often been hard to receive. It has taken a long time to experience this love and belonging. Time, mistakes, curve balls. Getting here hasn’t been quick and it hasn’t been simple. It has been rough building and steep climbing. At times it has been comprised of so many downs, I have doubted whether our general trajectory was looking up at all.   Read More »

I Don’t Want To Go

I am struggling and failing to comprehend the extent of change that is about to take place in my life. 1810 days ago I moved to Redding, California as a just-turned-21-year-old. Here I built life and spent five years being shaped by it. In fourteen days, this normal will completely unravel in exchange for the new. Five years will come to completion as I get inside my little VW Beetle and drive clear across the country to new adventures awaiting in North Carolina.   Read More »